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Barn Burning by
William Faulkner The store in which
the justice of the Peace's court was sitting smelled of cheese. The boy,
crouched on his nail keg at the back of the crowded room, knew he smelled
cheese, and more: from where he sat he could see the ranked shelves
close-packed with the solid, squat, dynamic shapes of tin cans whose labels
his stomach read, not from the lettering which meant nothing to his mind but
from the scarlet devils and the silver curve of fish - this, the cheese
which he knew he smelled and the hermetic meat which his intestines believed
he smelled coming in intermittent gusts momentary and brief between the
other constant one, the smell and sense just a little of fear because mostly
of despair and grief, the old fierce pull of blood. He could not see the
table where the Justice sat and before which his father and his father's
enemy (our enemy he thought in that despair; ourn! mine and hisn both! He's
my father!) stood, but he could hear them, the two of them that is, because
his father had said no word yet:
"But what proof have you, Mr. Harris?"
"I told you. The hog got into my corn. I caught
it up and sent it back to him. He had no fence that would hold it. I told
him so, warned him. The next time I put the hog in my pen. When he came to
get it I gave him enough wire to patch up his pen. The next time I put the
hog up and kept it. I rode down to his house and saw the wire I gave him
still rolled on to the spool in his yard. I told him he could have the hog
when he paid me a dollar pound fee. That evening a nigger came with the
dollar and got the hog. He was a strange nigger. He said, 'He say to tell
you wood and hay kin burn.' I said, 'What?' 'That whut he say to tell you,'
the nigger said. 'Wood and hay kin burn.' That night my barn burned. I got
the stock out but I lost the barn."
"Where is the nigger? Have you got him?"
"He was a strange nigger, I tell you. I don't
know what became of him."
"But that's not proof. Don't you see that's not
proof?"
"Get that boy up here. He knows." For a moment
the boy thought too that the man meant his older brother until Harris said,
"Not him. The little one. The boy," and, crouching, small for his age, small
and wiry like his father, in patched and faded jeans even too small for him,
with straight, uncombed, brown hair and eyes gray and wild as storm scud, he
saw the men between himself and the table part and become a lane of grim
faces, at the end of which he saw the justice, a shabby, collarless, graying
man in spectacles, beckoning him. He felt no floor under his bare feet; he
seemed to walk beneath the palpable weight of the grim turning faces. His
father, stiff in his black Sunday coat donned not for the trial but for the
moving, did not even look at him. He aims for me to lie, he thought, again
with that frantic grief and despair. And I will have to do hit.
"What's your name, boy?" the justice said.
"Colonel Sartoris Snopes," the boy whispered.
"Hey?" the Justice said. "Talk louder. Colonel
Sartoris? I reckon anybody named for Colonel Sartoris in this country can't
help but tell the truth, can they?" The boy said nothing. Enemy! Enemy! he
thought; for a moment he could not even see, could not see that the
justice's face was kindly nor discern that his voice was troubled when he
spoke to the man named Harris: "Do you want me to question this boy?" But he
could hear, and during those subsequent long seconds while there was
absolutely no sound in the crowded little room save that of quiet and intent
breathing it was as if he had swung outward at the end of a grape vine, over
a ravine, and at the top of the swing had been caught in a prolonged instant
of mesmerized gravity, weightless in time.
"No!" Harris said violently, explosively.
"Damnation! Send him out of here!" Now time, the fluid world, rushed beneath
him again, the voices coming to him again through the smell of cheese and
sealed meat, the fear and despair and the old grief of blood:
"This case is closed. I can't find against you,
Snopes, but I can give you advice. Leave this country and don't come back to
it."
His father spoke for the first time, his voice
cold and harsh, level, without emphasis: "I aim to. I don't figure to stay
in a country among people who…" he said something unprintable and vile,
addressed to no one.
"That'll do," the Justice said. "Take your wagon
and get out of this country before dark. Case dismissed."
His father turned, and he followed the stiff
black coat, the wiry figure walking a little stiffly from where a
Confederate provost's man's musket ball had taken him in the heel on a
stolen horse thirty years ago, followed the two backs now, since between the
two lines of grim-faced men and out of the store and across the worn gallery
and down the sagging steps and among the dogs and half-grown boys in the
mild May dust, where as he passed a voice hissed:
"Barn burner!"
Again he could not see, whirling; there was a
face in a red haze, moonlike, bigger than the full moon, the owner of it
half again his size, he leaping in the red haze toward the face, feeling no
blow, feeling no shock when his head struck the earth, scrabbling up and
leaping again, feeling no blow this time either and tasting no blood,
scrabbling up to see the other boy in full flight and himself already
leaping into pursuit as his father's hand jerked him back, the harsh, cold
voice speaking above him: "Go get in the wagon."
It stood in a grove of locusts and mulberries
across the road. His two hulking sisters in their Sunday dresses and his
mother and her sister in calico and sunbonnets were already in it, sitting
on and among the sorry residue of the dozen and more movings which even the
boy could remember the battered stove, the broken beds and chairs, the clock
inlaid with mother-of-pearl, which would not run, stopped at some fourteen
minutes past two o'clock of a dead and forgotten day and time, which had
been his mother's dowry. She was crying, though when she saw him she drew
her sleeve across her face and began to descend from the wagon. "Get back,"
the father said.
"He's hurt. I got to get some water and wash
his…"
His older brother had appeared from somewhere in
the crowd, no taller than the father but thicker, chewing tobacco steadily,
"Get back in the wagon," his father said. He got
in too, over the tail-gate. His father mounted to the seat where the older
brother already sat and struck the gaunt mules two savage blows with the
peeled willow, but without heat. It was not even sadistic; it was exactly
that same quality which in later years would cause his descendants to
over-run the engine before putting a motor car into motion, striking and
reining back in the same movement. The wagon went on, the store with its
quiet crowd of grimly watching men dropped behind; a curve in the road hid
it. Forever he thought. Maybe he's done satisfied now, now that he has ...
stopping himself, not to say it aloud even to himself. His mother's hand
touched his shoulder.
"Does hit hurt?" she said.
"Naw," he said. "Hit don't hurt. Lemme be."
"Can't you wipe some of the blood off before hit
dries?"
"I'll wash to-night," he said. "Lemme be, I tell
you."
The wagon went on. He did not know where they
were going. None of them ever did or ever asked, because it was always
somewhere, always a house of sorts waiting for them a day or two days or
even three days away. Likely his father had already arranged to make a crop
on another farm before he... Again he had to stop himself. He (the father)
always did. There was something about his wolflike independence and even
courage when the advantage was at least neutral which impressed strangers,
as if they got from his latent ravening ferocity not so much a sense of
dependability as a feeling that his ferocious conviction in the rightness of
his own actions would be of advantage to all whose interest lay with his.
That night they camped in a grove of oaks and
beeches where a spring ran. The nights were still cool and they had a fire
against it, of a rail lifted from a nearby fence and cut into lengths - a
small fire, neat, niggard almost, a shrewd fire; such fires were his
father's habit and custom always, even in freezing weather. Older, the boy
might have remarked this and wondered why not a big one; why should not a
man who had not only seen the waste and extravagance of war, but who had in
his blood an inherent voracious prodigality with material not his own, have
burned everything in sight? Then he might have gone a step farther and
thought that that was the reason: that niggard blaze was the living fruit of
nights passed during those four years in the woods hiding from all men, blue
or gray, with his strings of horses (captured horses, he called them). And
older still, he might have divined the true reason: that the element of fire
spoke to some deep mainspring of his father's being, as the element of steel
or of powder spoke to other men, as the one weapon for the preservation of
integrity, else breath were not worth the breathing, and hence to be
regarded with respect and used with discretion.
But he did not think this now and he had seen
those same niggard blazes all his life. He merely ate his supper beside it
and was already half asleep over his iron plate when his father called him,
and once more he followed the stiff back, the stiff and ruthless limp, up
the slope and on to the starlit road where, turning, he could see his father
against the stars but without face or depth-a shape black, flat, and
bloodless as though cut from tin in the iron folds of the frockcoat which
had not been made for him, the voice harsh like tin and without heat like
tin:
"You were fixing to tell them. You would have
told him." He didn't answer. His father struck him with the flat of his hand
on the side of the head, hard but without heat, exactly as he had struck the
two mules at the store, exactly as he would strike either of them with any
stick in order to kill a horse fly, his voice still without heat or anger:
"You're getting to be a man. You got to learn. You got to learn to stick to
your own blood or you ain't going to have any blood to stick to you. Do you
think either of them, any man there this morning would? Don't you know all
they wanted was a chance to get at me because they knew I had them beat?
Eh?" Later, twenty years later, he was to tell himself, "If I had said they
wanted only truth, justice, he would have hit me again." But now he said
nothing. He was not crying. He just stood there. "Answer me," his father
said.
"Yes," he whispered. His father turned.
"Get on to bed. We'll be there to-morrow."
To-morrow they were there. In the early
afternoon the wagon stopped before a paintless two-room house identical
almost with the dozen others it had stopped before even in the boy's ten
years, and again, as on the other dozen occasions, his mother and aunt got
down and began to unload the wagon, although his two sisters and his father
and brother had not moved.
"Likely hit ain't fitten for hawgs," one of the
sisters said.
"Nevertheless, fit it will and you'll hog it and
like it," his father said. "Get out of them chairs and help your Ma unload."
The two sisters got down, big, bovine, in a
flutter of cheap ribbons; one of them drew from the jumbled wagon bed a
battered lantern, the other a worn broom. His father handed the reins to the
older son and began to climb stiffly over the wheel. "When they get
unloaded, take the team to the barn and feed them." Then he said, and at
first the boy thought he was still speaking to his brother: "Come with me."
"Me?" he said.
"Yes," his father said. "You."
"Abner," his mother said. His father paused and
looked back - the harsh level stare beneath the shaggy, graying, irascible
brows.
"I reckon I'll have a word with the man that
aims to begin to-morrow owning me body and soul for the next eight months."
They went back up the road. A week ago - or
before last night, that is - he would have asked where they were going, but
not now. His father had struck him before last night but never before had he
paused afterward to explain why; it was as if the blow and the following
calm, outrageous voice still rang, repercussed, divulging nothing to him
save the terrible handicap of being young, the light weight of his few
years, just heavy enough to prevent his soaring free of the world as it
seemed to be ordered but not heavy enough to keep him footed solid in it, to
resist it and try to change the course of its events.
Presently he could see the grove of oaks and
cedars and the other flowering trees and shrubs where the house would be,
though not the house yet. They walked beside a fence massed with honeysuckle
and Cherokee roses and came to a gate swinging open between two brick
pillars, and now, beyond a sweep of drive, he saw the house for the first
time and at that instant he forgot his father and the terror and despair
both, and even when he remembered his father again (who had not stopped) the
terror and despair did not return. Because, for all the twelve movings, they
had sojourned until now in a poor country, a land of small farms and fields
and houses, and he had never seen a house like this before. Hit's big as a
courthouse he thought quietly, with a surge of peace and joy whose reason he
could not have thought into words, being too young for that: They are safe
from him. People whose lives are a part of this peace and dignity are beyond
his touch, he no more to them than a buzzing wasp: capable of stinging for a
little moment but that's all; the spell of this peace and dignity rendering
even the barns and stable and cribs which belong to it impervious to the
puny flames he might contrive ... this, the peace and joy, ebbing for an
instant as he looked again at the stiff black back, the stiff and implacable
limp of the figure which was not dwarfed by the house, for the reason that
it had never looked big anywhere and which now, against the serene columned
backdrop, had more than ever that impervious quality of something cut
ruthlessly from tin, depthless, as though, sidewise to the sun, it would
cast no shadow. Watching him, the boy remarked the absolutely undeviating
course which his father held and saw the stiff foot come squarely down in a
pile of fresh droppings where a horse had stood in the drive and which his
father could have avoided by a simple change of stride. But it ebbed only
for a moment, though he could not have thought this into words either,
walking on in the spell of the house, which he could even want but without
envy, without sorrow, certainly never with that ravening and jealous rage
which unknown to him walked in the iron like black coat before him. Maybe he
will feel it too. Maybe it will even change him now from what maybe he
couldn't help but be.
They crossed the portico. Now he could hear his
father's stiff foot as it came down on the boards with clocklike finality, a
sound out of all proportion to the displacement of the body it bore and
which was not dwarfed either by the white door before it, as though it had
attained to a sort of vicious and ravening minimum not to be dwarfed by
anything - the flat, wide, black hat, the formal coat of broadcloth which
had once been black but which had now the friction-glazed greenish cast of
the bodies of old house flies, the lifted sleeve which was too large, the
lifted hand like a curled claw. The door opened so promptly that the boy
knew the Negro must have been watching them all the time, an old man with
neat grizzled hair, in a linen jacket, who stood barring the door with his
body, saying, "Wipe yo foots, white man, fo you come in here. Major ain't
home nohow."
"Get out of my way, nigger," his father said,
without heat too, flinging the door back and the Negro also and entering,
his hat still on his head. And now the boy saw the prints of the stiff foot
on the doorjamb and saw them appear on the pale rug behind the machinelike
deliberation of the foot which seemed to bear (or transmit) twice the weight
which the body compassed. The Negro was shouting "Miss Lula! Miss Lula!"
somewhere behind them, then the boy, deluged as though by a warm wave by a
suave turn of carpeted stair and a pendant glitter of chandeliers and a mute
gleam of gold frames, heard the swift feet and saw her too, a lady - perhaps
he had never seen her like before either - in a gray, smooth gown with lace
at the throat and an apron tied at the waist and the sleeves turned back,
wiping cake or biscuit dough from her hands with a towel as she came up the
hall, looking not at his father at all but at the tracks on the blond rug
with an expression of incredulous amazement.
"I tried," the Negro cried. "I tole him to…"
"Will you please go away?" she said in a shaking
voice. "Major de Spain is not at home. Will you please go away?"
His father had not spoken again. He did not
speak again. He did not even look at her. He just stood stiff in the center
of the rug, in his hat, the shaggy iron-gray brows twitching slightly above
the pebble-colored eyes as he appeared to examine the house with brief
deliberation. Then with the same deliberation he turned; the boy watched him
pivot on the good leg and saw the stiff foot drag round the arc of the
turning, leaving a final long and fading smear. His father never looked at
it, he never once looked down at the rug. The Negro held the door. It closed
behind them, upon the hysteric and indistinguishable woman-wail. His father
stopped at the top of the steps and scraped his boot clean on the edge of
it. At the gate he stopped again. He stood for a moment, planted stiffly on
the stiff foot, looking back at the house. "Pretty and white, ain't it?" he
said. "That's sweat. Nigger sweat. Maybe it ain't white enough yet to suit
him. Maybe he wants to mix some white sweat with it."
Two hours later the boy was chopping wood behind
the house within which his mother and aunt and the two sisters (the mother
and aunt, not the two girls, he knew that; even at this distance and muffled
by walls the flat loud voices of the two girls emanated an incorrigible idle
inertia) were setting up the stove to prepare a meal, when he heard the
hooves and saw the linen-clad man on a fine sorrel mare, whom he recognized
even before he saw the rolled rug in front of the Negro youth following on a
fat bay carriage horse - a suffused, angry face vanishing, still at full
gallop, beyond the corner of the house where his father and brother were
sitting in the two tilted chairs; and a moment later, almost before he could
have put the axe down, he heard the hooves again and watched the sorrel mare
go back out of the yard, already galloping again.
Then his father began to shout one of the
sisters' names, who presently emerged backward from the kitchen door
dragging the rolled rug along the ground by one end while the other sister
walked behind it.
"If you ain't going to tote, go on and set up
the wash pot," the first said.
"You, Sarty!" the second shouted, "Set up the
wash pot!" His father appeared at the door, framed against that shabbiness,
as he had been against that other bland perfection, impervious to either,
the mother's anxious face at his shoulder.
"Go on," the father said. "Pick it up." The two
sisters stooped, broad, lethargic; stooping, they presented an incredible
expanse of pale cloth and a flutter of tawdry ribbons.
"If I thought enough of a rug to have to git hit
all the way from France I wouldn't keep hit where folks coming in would have
to tromp on hit," the first said. They raised the rug.
"Abner," the mother said. "Let me do it."
"You go back and git dinner," his father said.
"I'll tend to this."
From the woodpile through the rest of the
afternoon the boy watched them, the rug spread flat in the dust beside the
bubbling wash-pot, the two sisters stooping over it with that profound and
lethargic reluctance, while the father stood over them in turn, implacable
and grim, driving them though never raising his voice again. He could smell
the harsh homemade lye they were using; he saw his mother come to the door
once and look toward them with an expression not anxious now but very like
despair; he saw his father turn, and he fell to with the axe and saw from
the corner of his eye his father raise from the ground a flattish fragment
of field stone and examine it and return to the pot, and this time his
mother actually spoke: "Abner. Abner. Please don't. Please, Abner."
Then he was done too. It was dusk; the
whippoorwills had already begun. He could smell coffee from the room where
they would presently eat the cold food remaining from the mid-afternoon
meal, though when he entered the house he realized they were having coffee
again probably because there was a fire on the hearth, before which the rug
now lay spread over the backs of the two chairs. The tracks of his father's
foot were gone. Where they had been were now long, water-cloudy scoriations
resembling the sporadic course of a lilliputian mowing machine.
It still hung there while they ate the cold food
and then went to bed, scattered without order or claim up and down the two
rooms, his mother in one bed, where his father would later lie, the older
brother in the other, himself, the aunt, and the two sisters on pallets on
the floor. But his father was not in bed yet. The last thing the boy
remembered was the depthless, harsh silhouette of the hat and coat bending
over the rug and it seemed to him that he had not even closed his eyes when
the silhouette was standing over him, the fire almost dead behind it, the
stiff foot prodding him awake. "Catch up the mule," his father said.
When he returned with the mule his father was
standing in the black door, the rolled rug over his shoulder. "Ain't you
going to ride?" he said.
"No. Give me your foot."
He bent his knee into his father's hand, the
wiry, surprising power flowed smoothly, rising, he rising with it, on to the
mule's bare back (they had owned a saddle once; the boy could remember it
though not when or where) and with the same effortlessness his father swung
the rug up in front of him. Now in the starlight they retraced the
afternoon's path, up the dusty road rife with honeysuckle, through the gate
and up the black tunnel of the drive to the lightless house, where he sat on
the mule and felt the rough warp of the rug drag across his thighs and
vanish.
"Don't you want me to help?" he whispered. His
father did not answer and now he heard again that stiff foot striking the
hollow portico with that wooden and clocklike deliberation, that outrageous
overstatement of the weight it carried. The rug, hunched, not flung (the boy
could tell that even in the darkness) from his father's shoulder struck the
angle of wall and floor with a sound unbelievably loud, thunderous, then the
foot again, unhurried and enormous; a light came on in the house and the boy
sat, tense, breathing steadily and quietly and just a little fast, though
the foot itself did not increase its beat at all, descending the steps now;
now the boy could see him.
"Don't you want to ride now?" he whispered. "We
kin both ride now," the light within the house altering now, flaring up and
sinking, He's coming down the stairs now, he thought. He had already ridden
the mule up beside the horse block; presently his father was up behind him
and he doubled the reins over and slashed the mule across the neck, but
before the animal could begin to trot the hard, thin arm came round him, the
hard, knotted hand jerking the mule back to a walk.
In the first red rays of the sun they were in
the lot, putting plow gear on the mules. This time the sorrel mare was in
the lot before he heard it at all, the rider collarless and even bareheaded,
trembling, speaking in a shaking voice as the woman in the house had done,
his father merely looking up once before stooping again to the hame he was
buckling, so that the man on the mare spoke to his stooping back:
"You must realize you have ruined that rug.
Wasn't there anybody here, any of your women…" he ceased, shaking, the boy
watching him, the older brother leaning now in the stable door, chewing,
blinking slowly and steadily at nothing apparently. "It cost a hundred
dollars. But you never had a hundred dollars. You never will. So I'm going
to charge you twenty bushels of corn against your crop. I'll add it in your
contract and when you come to the commissary you can sign it. That won't
keep Mrs. de Spain quiet but maybe it will teach you to wipe your feet off
before you enter her house again."
Then he was gone. The boy looked at his father,
who still had not spoken or even looked up again, who was now adjusting the
logger-head in the hame.
"Pap," he said. His father looked at him - the
inscrutable face, the shaggy brows beneath which the gray eyes glinted
coldly. Suddenly the boy went toward him, fast, stopping as suddenly. "You
done the best you could!" he cried. "If he wanted hit done different why
didn't he wait and tell you how? He won't git no twenty bushels! He won't
git none! We'll gether hit and hide hit! I kin watch…"
"Did you put the cutter back in that straight
stock like I told you?"
"No sir," he said.
"Then go do it."
That was Wednesday. During the rest of that week
he worked steadily, at what was within his scope and some which was beyond
it, with an industry that did not need to be driven nor even commanded
twice; he had this from his mother, with the difference that some at least
of what he did he liked to do, such as splitting wood with the half-size axe
which his mother and aunt had earned, or saved money somehow, to present him
with at Christmas. In company with the two older women (and on one
afternoon, even one of the sisters), he built pens for the shoat and the cow
which were a part of his father's contract with the landlord, and one
afternoon, his father being absent, gone somewhere on one of the mules, he
went to the field,
They were running a middle buster now, his
brother holding the plow straight while he handled the reins, and walking
beside the straining mule, the rich black soil shearing cool and damp
against his bare ankles, he thought Maybe this is the end of it. Maybe even
that twenty bushels that seems hard to have to pay for just a rug will be a
cheap price for him to stop forever and always from being what he used to
be; thinking, dreaming now, so that his brother had to speak sharply to him
to mind the mule: Maybe he even won't collect the twenty bushels. Maybe it
will all add up and balance and vanish - corn, rug, fire; the terror and
grief, the being pulled two ways like between two teams of horses - gone,
done with for ever and ever.
Then it was Saturday; he looked up from beneath
the mule he was harnessing and saw his father in the black coat and hat.
"Not that," his father said. "The wagon gear." And then, two hours later,
sitting in the wagon bed behind his father and brother on the seat, the
wagon accomplished a final curve, and he saw the weathered paintless store
with its tattered tobacco and patent-medicine posters and the tethered
wagons and saddle animals below the gallery. He mounted the gnawed steps
behind his father and brother, and there again was the lane of quiet,
watching faces for the three of them to walk through. He saw the man in
spectacles sitting at the plank table and he did not need to be told this
was a Justice of the Peace; he sent one glare of fierce, exultant, partisan
defiance at the man in collar and cravat now, whom he had seen but twice
before in his life, and that on a galloping horse, who now wore on his face
an expression not of rage but of amazed unbelief which the boy could not
have known was at the incredible circumstance of being sued by one of his
own tenants, and came and stood against his father and cried at the justice:
"He ain't done it! He ain't burnt…"
"Go back to the wagon," his father said.
"Burnt?" the Justice said. "Do I understand this
rug was burned too?"
"Does anybody here claim it was?" his father
said. "Go back to the wagon." But he did not, he merely retreated to the
rear of the room, crowded as that other had been, but not to sit down this
time, instead, to stand pressing among the motionless bodies, listening to
the voices:
"And you claim twenty bushels of corn is too
high for the damage you did to the rug?"
"He brought the rug to me and said he wanted the
tracks washed out of it. I washed the tracks out and took the rug back to
him."
"But you didn't carry the rug back to him in the
same condition it was in before you made the tracks on it."
His father did not answer, and now for perhaps
half a minute there was no sound at all save that of breathing, the faint,
steady suspiration of complete and intent listening.
"You decline to answer that, Mr. Snopes?" Again
his father did not answer. "I'm going to find against you, Mr. Snopes, I'm
going to find that you were responsible for the injury to Major de Spain's
rug and hold you liable for it. But twenty bushels of corn seems a little
high for a man in your circumstances to have to pay. Major de Spain claims
it cost a hundred dollars. October corn will be worth about fifty cents. I
figure that if Major de Spain can stand a ninety-five dollar loss on
something he paid cash for, you can stand a five-dollar loss you haven't
earned yet. I hold you in damages to Major de Spain to the amount of ten
bushels of corn over and above your contract with him, to be paid to him out
of your crop at gathering time. Court adjourned."
It had taken no time hardly, the morning was but
half begun. He thought they would return home and perhaps back to the field,
since they were late, far behind all other farmers. But instead his father
passed on behind the wagon, merely indicating with his hand for the older
brother to follow with it, and he crossed the road toward the blacksmith
shop opposite, pressing on after his father, overtaking him, speaking,
whispering up at the harsh, calm face beneath the weathered hat: "He won't
git no ten bushels neither. He won't git one. We'll…" until his father
glanced for an instant down at him, the face absolutely calm, the grizzled
eyebrows tangled above the cold eyes, the voice almost pleasant, almost
gentle:
"You think so? Well, we'll wait till October
anyway."
The matter of the wagon - the setting of a spoke
or two and the tightening of the tires - did not take long either, the
business of the tires accomplished by driving the wagon into the spring
branch behind the shop and letting it stand there, the mules nuzzling into
the water from time to time, and the boy on the seat with the idle reins,
looking up the slope and through the sooty tunnel of the shed where the slow
hammer rang and where his father sat on an upended cypress bolt, easily,
either talking or listening, still sitting there when the boy brought the
dripping wagon up out of the branch and halted it before the door.
"Take them on to the shade and hitch," his
father said. He did so and returned. His father and the smith and a third
man squatting on his heels inside the door were talking, about crops and
animals; the boy, squatting too in the ammoniac dust and hoof-parings and
scales of rust, heard his father tell a long and unhurried story out of the
time before the birth of the older brother even when he had been a
professional horse trader. And then his father came up beside him where he
stood before a tattered last year's circus poster on the other side of the
store, gazing rapt and quiet at the scarlet horses, the incredible poisings
and convolutions of tulle and tights and the painted leer of comedians, and
said, "It's time to eat."
But not at home. Squatting beside his brother
against the front wall, he watched his father emerge from the store and
produce from a paper sack a segment of cheese and divide it carefully and
deliberately into three with his pocket knife and produce crackers from the
same sack. They all three squatted on the gallery and ate, slowly, without
talking; then in the store again, they drank from a tin dipper tepid water
smelling of the cedar bucket and of living beech trees. And still they did
not go home. It was a horse lot this time, a tall rail fence upon and along
which men stood and sat and out of which one by one horses were led, to be
walked and trotted and then cantered back and forth along the road while the
slow swapping and buying went on and the sun began to slant westward, they -
the three of them - watching and listening, the older brother with his muddy
eyes and his steady, inevitable tobacco, the father commenting now and then
on certain of the animals, to no one in particular.
It was after sundown when they reached home.
They ate supper by lamplight, then, sitting on the doorstep, the boy watched
the night fully accomplished, listening to the whippoorwills and the frogs,
when he heard his mother's voice: "Abner! No! No! Oh, God. Oh, God. Abner!"
and he rose, whirled, and saw the altered light through the door where a
candle stub now burned in a bottle neck on the table and his father, still
in the hat and coat, at once formal and burlesque as though dressed
carefully for some shabby and ceremonial violence, emptying the reservoir of
the lamp back into the five-gallon kerosene can from which it had been
filled, while the mother tugged at his arm until he shifted the lamp to the
other hand and flung her back, not savagely or viciously, just hard, into
the wall, her hands flung out against the wall for balance, her mouth open
and in her face the same quality of hopeless despair as had been in her
voice. Then his father saw him standing in the door.
"Go to the barn and get that can of oil we were
oiling the wagon with," he said. The boy did not move. Then he could speak.
"What…" he cried "What are you…"
"Go get that oil," his father said. "Go."
Then he was moving, running outside the house,
toward the stable: this the old habit, the old blood which he had not been
permitted to choose for himself, which had been bequeathed him willy nilly
and which had run for so long (and who knew where, battening on what of
outrage and savagery and lust) before it came to him. I could keep on, he
thought. I could run on and on and never look back, never need to see his
face again. Only I can't. I can't, the rusted can in his hand now, the
liquid sploshing in it as he ran back to the house and into it, into the
sound of his mother's weeping in the next room, and handed the can to his
father.
"Ain't you going to even send a nigger?" he
cried. "At least you sent a nigger before!"
This time his father didn't strike him. The hand
came even faster than the blow had, the same hand which had set the can on
the table with almost excruciating care flashing from the can toward him too
quick for him to follow it, gripping him by the back of the shirt and on to
tiptoe before he had seen it quit the can, the face stooping at him in
breathless and frozen ferocity, the cold, dead voice speaking over him to
the older brother who leaned against the table, chewing with that steady,
curious, sidewise motion of cows:
"Empty the can into the big one and go on. I'll
ketch up with you."
"Better tie him to the bedpost," the brother
said.
"Do like I told you," the father said. Then the
boy was moving, his bunched shirt and the hard, bony hand between his
shoulder-blades, his toes just touching the floor, across the room and into
the other one, past the sisters sitting with spread heavy thighs in the two
chairs over the cold hearth, and to where his mother and aunt sat side by
side on the bed, the aunt's arms about his mother's shoulders.
"Hold him," the father said. The aunt made a
startled movement. "Not you," the father said. "Lennie. Take hold of him. I
want to see you do it." His mother took him by the wrist. "You'll hold him
better than that. If he gets loose don't you know what he is going to do? He
will go up yonder." He jerked his head toward the road. "Maybe I'd better
tie him."
"I'll hold him," his mother whispered.
"See you do then." Then his father was gone, the
stiff foot heavy and measured upon the boards, ceasing at last.
Then he began to struggle. His mother caught him
in both arms, he jerking and wrenching at them. He would be stronger in the
end, he knew that. But he had no time to wait for it. "Lemme go!" he cried.
"I don't want to have to hit you!"
"Let him go!" the aunt said. "If he don't go,
before God, I am going up there myself!"
"Don't you see I can't?" his mother cried. "Sarty!
Sarty! No! No! Help me, Lizzie!"
Then he was free. His aunt grasped at him but
was too late. He whirled, running, his mother stumbled forward on to her
knees behind him, crying to the nearer sister: "Catch him, Net! Catch him!"
But that was too late too, the sister (the sisters were twins, born at the
same time, yet either of them now gave the impression of being, encompassing
as much living meat and volume and weight as any other two of the family)
not yet having begun to rise from the chair, her head, face, alone merely
turned, presenting to him in the flying instant an astonishing expanse of
young female features untroubled by any surprise even, wearing only an
expression of bovine interest. Then he was out of the room, out of the
house, in the mild dust of the starlit road and the heavy rifeness of
honeysuckle, the pale ribbon unspooling with terrific slowness under his
running feet, reaching the gate at last and turning in, running, his heart
and lungs drumming, on up the drive toward the lighted house, the lighted
door. He did not knock, he burst in, sobbing for breath, incapable for the
moment of speech; he saw the astonished face of the Negro in the linen
jacket without knowing when the Negro had appeared.
"De Spain!" he cried, panted. "Where's…" then he
saw the white man too emerging from a white door down the hall. "Barn!" he
cried. "Barn!"
"What?" the white man said. "Barn?"
"Yes!" the boy cried. "Barn!"
"Catch him!" the white man shouted.
But it was too late this time too. The Negro
grasped his shirt, but the entire sleeve, rotten with washing, carried away,
and he was out that door too and in the drive again, and had actually never
ceased to run even while he was screaming into the white man's face.
Behind him the white man was shouting, "My
horse! Fetch my horse!" and he thought for an instant of cutting across the
park and climbing the fence into the road, but he did not know the park nor
how high the vine-massed fence might be and he dared not risk it. So he ran
on down the drive, blood and breath roaring; presently he was in the road
again though he could not see it. He could not hear either: the galloping
mare was almost upon him before he heard her, and even then he held his
course, as if the urgency of his wild grief and need must in a moment more
find him wings, waiting until the ultimate instant to hurl himself aside and
into the weed-choked roadside ditch as the horse thundered past and on, for
an instant in furious silhouette against the stars, the tranquil early
summer night sky which, even before the shape of the horse and rider
vanished, strained abruptly and violently upward: a long, swirling roar
incredible and soundless, blotting the stars, and he springing up and into
the road again, running again, knowing it was too late yet still running
even after he heard the shot and, an instant later, two shots, pausing now
without knowing he had ceased to run, crying "Pap! Pap!," running again
before he knew he had begun to run, stumbling, tripping over something and
scrabbling up again without ceasing to run, looking backward over his
shoulder at the glare as he got up, running on among the invisible trees,
panting, sobbing, "Father! Father!"
At midnight he was sitting on the crest of a
hill. He did not know it was midnight and he did not know how far he had
come. But there was no glare behind him now and he sat now, his back toward
what he had called home for four days anyhow, his face toward the dark woods
which he would enter when breath was strong again, small, shaking steadily
in the chill darkness, hugging himself into the remainder of his thin,
rotten shirt, the grief and despair now no longer terror and fear but just
grief and despair. Father. My father, he thought. "He was brave!" he cried
suddenly, aloud but not loud, no more than a whisper: "He was! He was in the
war! He was in Colonel Sartoris' cav'ry!" not knowing that his father had
gone to that war a private in the fine old European sense, wearing no
uniform, admitting the authority of and giving fidelity to no man or army or
flag, going to war as Malbrouck himself did: for booty - it meant nothing
and less than nothing to him if it were enemy booty or his own.
The slow constellations wheeled on. It would be
dawn and then sun-up after a while and he would be hungry. But that would be
to-morrow and now he was only cold, and walking would cure that. His
breathing was easier now and he decided to get up and go on, and then he
found that he had been asleep because he knew it was almost dawn, the night
almost over. He could tell that from the whippoorwills. They were everywhere
now among the dark trees below him, constant and inflectioned and ceaseless,
so that, as the instant for giving over to the day birds drew nearer and
nearer, there was no interval at all between them. He got up. He was a
little stiff, but walking would cure that too as it would the cold, and soon
there would be the sun. He went on down the hill, toward the dark woods
within which the liquid silver voices of the birds called unceasing - the
rapid and urgent beating of the urgent and quiring heart of the late spring
night. He did not look back. |